How Does it Looks LIKE to be SELF - CONSCIOUS

How Does it Looks LIKE to be SELF - CONSCIOUS

I am not sure are you going to be able to understand me but I am going to give my best to try to explain it in the most simple way. Everything started when I decided to push trough the pain, when I decided purposely to let everything go. The thing is when you let it happen, its not that you are weak and letting it go because you are weak, its actually the opposite side of the coin its because you are strong and because you are going to sit there and you are going to cry and you are going to ask yourself some questions. The thing about me is that my thoughts where so negative that in one moment I was thinking that my mind and my body are going to explode at the same time, and believe it or not maybe they did. But the truth is that they did not, I just broke the limits of my mind, I just pushed my limits, or I could say I looked outside of the box. From that moment I become thoughtless. It is about being able to think about nothing, and I could say its quite hard to achieve it. But from that day everything changed, I changed for 180 degree. Its like something took all your thought and give them a calm, and there is nothing, its like your mind is empty but at the same moment so focused on that emptiness. The only words I could use to describe that feeling is that something connected in my head and I felt it as a connection, and I was born again. Now because there is blank space in your mind and you are aware of it, when the time comes to fill that blank space you are noticing what you are taking in. That means nothing else then,  you became aware of your thoughts, you became the observer. When the thought is formed or I could say comes in to your mind in that nano second you are aware that she just came, you know what for thought it is and on which path she is trying to send you. As a observer you can choose are you going to do it. The thing is that trough everything you actually learned to live in the moment, and you learned to seize the moment. That means you are able consciously to make the decision, are you going to live your thought or not. The thing is that most of the people think that they think, but the truth is that because you think that you think, that does not means that you think, mostly you are only repeating you memories. Tho memories are the form of the thoughts but the ones you already lived. The true process of creation is pure creation, pure inspiration, you are consciously making a thoughts which never existed there, and you know that you are doing it, you are consciously making those thoughts. Also the truth is that when you are talking with someone else, you are actually open, you are aware of his thoughts, you know that everything he says are the thoughts which he posses in that particular moment, and what for thoughts one has so hes character is. You are taking his words, and you are observing, you are observing what he is in that particular moments thinking, you are observing in the quiet to understand not to replay. You will replay, but you are not going to interrupt him because you wish to understand why does he or she are thinking in that particular way. You are looking for the hidden meaning. Also the truth is that you are aware of the power of the words. You mind is I could say so sharp that you are aware of the words which are awaking thoughts in you, you are aware when the connection is made and which word made it, and that particular word which made a connection is a powerful one. As such you are just like a cowboy with the words. The truth is that its a gift and its a curse. You are immune on other people and they opinion but also with this type of the power you can mentally destroy other human beings. Thats the reason if you already posses this kind of the power, use it wisely my friend, because you know what they say what goes around comes around.