I can Fly

I can Fly

I chose to be what I wish to be, I chose to fight against all obstacles to get that tiny little piece of space for myself. My soul is on fire, after so many years I could honestly say that I am happy with myself, at least at some level I am. I know there are things I need to change, I know there is growth ready and burning in my hearth and I here and now, accept it. I am throwing away all thoughts which do not server me the way I wish. You know the simplest battle you can have in your life is the one which you have against yourself, also the one who brings so many in return. Did you ever asked yourself, do I like what I see in the mirror ? I do, but not at the level that I can say that I am satisfied with myself. I will never be satisfied with myself, because there are so many things to change, there are so many new habits I need to accept. I am not my body, I am not my mind, I choose not to be, I choose to be observer, observer of my thoughts and the observer of my body moves. I choose to live in the moment so I can seize the moment, so I can influence it, so I can manipulate it. I am aware that the way I am walking is the dangerous one, I am aware that I will become something else, that I will become manipulative human being, but at the end that is what I need to become to get my piece of space. Did you ever felt so much pain, did you ever thought that your mind and your hearth are going to explode at the same time and that you are not able do anything against it. Did you ever experienced so much pain, and you do not wanted to quit, you just pushed trough. It changes you, it changes you on your root level. I will not say that I became perverse but these days I enjoy the pain, these days I choose pain instead of comfort. But why ? Because not only that that pain changed me, not that pushing trough that pain I became something else, but In that pain I found myself. After so many years drifting trough the life, now I have a vision. A vision for which my hearth is burning, a purpose which is my fuel to push forward, to take a risk. The pain is nothing else then the feeling and more you are experiencing it, more familiar you are going to be with it, so with time you are going to know how to function even on that level. Yes, we human beings or at leas the adults are able to learn new things only trough the pain. Did you ever try to push your limits my friend ? To brake your limit you need to go in the place where the pain is born. And when you are already there, you can decide to stay just as I did. In that pain I am purposely not focusing on the pain, the pain is there I feel it, but I am ignoring it, or I could say I learn to enjoy it, in that pain I am focusing on myself, and you know what, more I am focusing on myself, more I am not feeling the pain. And everything goes further until you do not reach the moment when the pain is gone, when you mind released the antidote, when you mind to protect you became used to the pain, and when your mind sets you free of the pain. And when you see that, everything changes, you learn not only that the pain is nothing else then the impulse of the mind, but you also learn how adaptive your mind is, how he can even adopt to the pain just to ascendant that pain. There are so many doors which I need to open, and the question is a form or to be precise the question is a key to open the closed doors of your mind. The focus is in my command, the focus is ultimate, and seeing trough others is nothing else then the gift of the Gods on which I am of course grateful. Its about self-conscious state of mind, about the flow state of the mind, where you are not you anymore, where you are directly connected with the God, where you are nothing else then the vessel of the God !